Thing 8

Instant messaging is a “web 2.0 style” communication device? You’re kidding, right? What’s thing 9 going to be? Learn DOS commands? Seriously, I remember IMing on my Commodore 64 while I was breaking into NORAD and changing my high school grades. Note to nerds: Yes, I know Matthew Broderick didn’t use a Commodore 64 in War Games. And while I’m on the subject, I always thought Broderick’s greatest accomplishment wasn’t hacking into government computers…it was getting to date Ally Sheedy. And did anyone really believe that B-movie ending where playing tic-tac-toe prevents mutually assured destruction? Besides, everyone knows that fluoridation of our water supply is the biggest threat to mankind. But I digress…

Text messaging is a “web 2.0 style” communication tool? IYSS. I will say this, any technology where I don’t have to listen to your phone conversation or your annoying ringtone is progress. Text the word VOTE to 2563 if you agree. Text the word VOTE to 2564 if you disagree. Text the word VOTE to 2565 if you’ve seen War Games or you’ve dated Ally Sheedy. Standard text messaging charges apply.

Web conferencing—like personal jet packs and cold fusion—is a great idea but the technology isn’t there yet.