Thing 23

I completed the survery.

This is the end
My only friend, the end
Of our elaborate plans, the end

Well, as I come to end of my blog I can't help but turn to thoughts of my own mortality. Will my death come sooner or later? Will it be sudden or gradual? Will I stiff the Department of Education with my college loans? That would be sweet!

But now is not the time to mourn; now is the time to celebrate. To those that have joined me on this journey I thank you. When the aliens come to destroy earth I hope your death is quick and painless. To those who did not join us, I hope your death is as slow and painful as the movie Titanic. Just kidding. I hope it's more like the movie The Perfect Storm where there is no hope of rescue.

Anyway...back to me and my mortality.

I often wonder what my last words will be. Will they be an ultimatum like when Oscar Wilde said, “Either this wallpaper goes, or I do!” Or will they be as shrewd as Humphrey Bogart when he declared, “I should never have switched from Scotch to Martinis."

Last words are a luxury. With that in mind, and borrowing from P.J. O’Rourke, I leave you with these last words from my blog: this blog has been free and worth every penny.

TD

Thing 22

Looking back at one of the first things I posted, I can see how 23 things has changed my view of 2.0. Here is what I posted in Thing 2:

1974 Ford Mustang
Microsoft Vista
Caddyshack 2

What do these items have in common? Other than things I own, they are also examples of when the successor is inferior to the predecessor. Version 2.0 if you will…

I originally thought 2.0 referred to a newer and improved version of the previous one. Thanks to Neflin’s 23 things, however, I realize it can also refer to the extra—and often unnecessary—steps that web 2.0 tools and utilities introduce. Subscribing to RSS feeds, creating tags for Delicious, and “rolling” websites together using Rollyo are just a few examples of web 2.0 tools that I believe fall into this category. Give me the internets (sic), Google, and a set of commonly used reference books and you can keep the others. Most of these 2.0 tools are just another username and password to memorize as far as I’m concerned.

I don’t believe, however, that all of the tools we used are unnecessary. Flickr is a great way for libraries to share their images with patrons without hosting them on their servers. Similarly, YouTube is a good public relations tool for libraries to embed video in their websites. But these tools are about promotion and not about helping librarians find accurate information quicker. For that I guess we will have to wait for web 3.0…or for robots to rule the world.

Thing 21

The Assignment Calculator, the Research Project Calculator and the Teacher's Guide to the RPC are perfect for those who are notorious for composing to do lists...and you know who you are. These are the people that create a to do list that includes, among other things, brushing their teeth and breathing.

For those of us that don't compose to do lists (read: procrastinators) these tools are just another thing to put off until the last moment.

Thing 20

What am I observing about books and reading in my library? Well, books and reading are still popular, but free air conditioning and bathrooms have dethroned (pun intended) it from the top five reasons people visit our library. The death of books, like Elvis, has been greatly exaggerated. With the advent of ebook readers, some are claiming it's the end of printed materials. It reminds me of when people said that the series of tubes known as the internets (sic) was the end of libraries. I'm for any device or website—2.0 or otherwise—that encourages reading and literacy.

Thing 19

I am not now, nor have I ever been, a member of any online community...unless you count email. Being part of the global community is more than enough for me, thank you. Unlike the late comedian Bill Hicks, however, I don't believe people are viruses with shoes. They are more like the plague in pumps or staphylococcus in stilettos: Sure, they will still kill you, but they will look good doing it. With that said, I can see the value of some social networking sites like flixster and last.fm that allow people to share common interests like Gary Busey films and Michael Bolton albums.

Thing 18

Libraries are using MySpace in an attempt to reach kids and teens...and maybe aliens. There’s one small problem, however: kids and teens aren't using MySpace to connect with libraries. And as far as I can tell, the only people listed as “friends” on a library’s MySpace page are authors and musicians attempting to sell their work. The only thing worse than having no friends on MySpace is having friends that only want to use your page as marketing tool. I didn't find anything on a library’s MySpace page that couldn't be posted on their website. Functionality is less important than the appearance of it.

Thing 17

I listened to The Onion Radio News Podcast on Podcast.com about a voice-activated GPS taking a Top Gun soundtrack fan into "The Danger Zone." I've found The Onion to be the only reliable news source other than tarot cards and astrology. I once asked my voice-activated GPS for directions to Alpha Centauri and it took me to an Orange Julius.

http://comedy.podcast.com/episode/36424950/19051/

Thing 16

It’s strangely comforting—and not surprising—that a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away, technology failed another user. R2-D2.0?

Thing 15

I created an account and a search roll of my favorite websites in Rollyo. The first website I saved in my search roll is Little'A'le'inn…which is also my home page. It’s a great website that brings together like-minded individuals to discuss ufo sightings, alien abduction, or to purchase an alien babushka doll that would look perfect next to your limited edition alien chess set and your Faberge egg collection.

The next site I have saved in Rollyo is a website to stop alien abductions aptly named stopalienabductions.com. After an unsuccessful attempt to construct my own thought screen helmet using used chewing gum wrappers and rubber cement, I turned to this website for help.

Lastly, I have the NORAD (North American Aerospace Defense Command) website in my Rollyo account. You might think it’s weird for me to have a government institution whose purpose is to track Santa Claus and deny the existence of unidentified flying objects in my search roll. But, as my father is fond of saying, “Keep your friends close, your enemies closer, and your family at a distance.”

http://rollyo.com/tylerdurden23/alien_abduction/

Thing 14

i set up my iGoogle page under the iMpression that iT was an Apple/Google collaboration. You can iMagine how iNconsolable i was when i learned iT was just a google product. i don’t eat, drink, wear, drive, buy, or use anything that doesn’t start with an i.

“iThink, therefore iAm.”

--iTD

p.s. Like the Mayans, I believe the world will end in 2012. Unfortunately, the countdown clock widget doesn’t allow me to select a date beyond December 31, 2010. Does the countdown clock know something I don’t? Are catastrophic solar flares and magnetic pole reversal closer than we thought?

Created by OnePlusYou

Thing 13

The book widget on my blog is courtesy of LibraryThing. And unlike “2.0 libraries,” these books don’t have RFID tags that allow the government to track you. It’s bad enough that you track my reading materials, but do you have to track my location too? To hide your location you must soak the book in ice cold water, Goody’s headache powder, and two scoops of raisins. Just kidding. You should wrap the book in Christmas wrapping paper, place four energy crystals on each corner of the book, and use an EMP device to disable the tag. Warning: You must conduct this task in a lead-lined room. Otherwise, the EMP pulse will destroy all of your electronics and possibly cause amnesia, restless leg syndrome, and the compulsion to arrange your Star Wars action figures in order of value starting with the R2D2 chewed by your dog and ending with the Boba Fett still in the box.

p.s. Below is the most valuable Star Wars action figure ever!!!

Thing 12

Wiki is an anagram for Kiwi. The Kiwi bird is the national symbol of New Zealand. New Zealand’s Prime Minister is John Key. John Key was born August 9th. 9 is the result of 3². 3² is also known as 3/3/09 (square root day). The next square root day will be 4/4/16. 4+4+16=24. 24 is the number of hours it took me to compose this post. A not-so-quick example of what Wikipedia can do for you. I posted the following quote on NEFLIN’S wiki page:

"The 23 things you own end up owning you."
--Tyler Durden of 23 things

Thing 11

I support finding news through sources other than the mainstream media. The MSMs attempt to entertain instead of educate is well documented. Stories about subversive government activities are often under reported or avoided. For example, did you know the government has a secret hangar at Area 51 that they use to upvote stories on Reddit and Digg? In 2008 Donald Martin, an employee at Area 51, blew the whistle on the operation and was quickly fired. Two weeks later he was found dead—of carbon monoxide affixiation—in his idling car in the garage. There's one small problem with this story, however: he owned a Prius. These are the news events the public needs to know about. Instead, the government upvotes stories about celebrities, celebrities with children, and celebrities acting like children to keep us diverted from the real story: that aliens use Reddit and Digg to downvote news about alien abduction, infiltration, and assimilation.

Thing 10

As you know from my previous post, RSS feeds allow the government to spy on you. With the social bookmarking site Delicious, however, the government doesn’t need RSS feeds or warrantless wiretapping to find out what you are reading; all they have to do is look at your tagged bookmarks. Now you might think this invasion of privacy would prevent me from creating a Delicious account, but like the Warren Commission, you’d be wrong. My training in counter-espionage has taught me to recognize and exploit moments like this. As far as the government knows, the only things I have bookmarked are Michael Bolton’s Wikipedia page and QVC.

Thing 9

Thing 8

Instant messaging is a “web 2.0 style” communication device? You’re kidding, right? What’s thing 9 going to be? Learn DOS commands? Seriously, I remember IMing on my Commodore 64 while I was breaking into NORAD and changing my high school grades. Note to nerds: Yes, I know Matthew Broderick didn’t use a Commodore 64 in War Games. And while I’m on the subject, I always thought Broderick’s greatest accomplishment wasn’t hacking into government computers…it was getting to date Ally Sheedy. And did anyone really believe that B-movie ending where playing tic-tac-toe prevents mutually assured destruction? Besides, everyone knows that fluoridation of our water supply is the biggest threat to mankind. But I digress…

Text messaging is a “web 2.0 style” communication tool? IYSS. I will say this, any technology where I don’t have to listen to your phone conversation or your annoying ringtone is progress. Text the word VOTE to 2563 if you agree. Text the word VOTE to 2564 if you disagree. Text the word VOTE to 2565 if you’ve seen War Games or you’ve dated Ally Sheedy. Standard text messaging charges apply.

Web conferencing—like personal jet packs and cold fusion—is a great idea but the technology isn’t there yet.

Thing 7

Thing 6

I was under the impression that if I used flickr to spell flickr it would cause a tear in the space-time continuum allowing me to travel back in time to recover the minutes wasted spelling with flickr. I'm struggling to find a use for this tool. Unless...

Are you tired of the time and money it takes to compose ransom notes? Do you hate the mess left behind from torn magazines and Elmer’s glue? Do you ever wish there was an easier way? Well now there is. Thanks to web 2.0 you can spell words with images from flickr. Just type text in the spell box and watch your ransom note come to life. Just listen to these happy customers. (Insert aspiring actress here) “I can’t tell you how helpful this has been for my extortion business. It used to take me two weeks and several magazines to compose a ransom note. Now, with web 2.0, I’m earning twice as much money in half the time. Thanks, web 2.0!” (Insert aspiring actor here) “I'm a Somali pirate and the fumes from commercial glue gives me a headache. But thanks to Web 2.0 the only headache I have now is where do I put all the money. And now that I have millions of dollars I need help transferring them to an overseas account.”

If you act now you will also get our web 2.0 motivational poster generator. It’s great for inspiring those who aren’t motivated by fame, fortune, or a corner office. But hurry, quantities are unlimited and time is unimportant.

Thing 5

Located in Alliance, Nebraska, Carhenge is believed to be the ancient burial ground of former American automotive manufacturers Chrysler, Ford and General Motors. A unique feature of Carhenge is if you stand next to the heelstone on the vernal or autumnal equinox you will see the Pleiades star cluster through the rear view mirror of a 1974 Plymouth Valiant.

Kevin Saff is the photographer and the photo is linked to Flickr.

Finding the photo on Flickr and posting it was fairly easy. This is the first "web 2.0" tool in 23 things that libraries can actually use for public relations or community involvement.

Quotes of the week

Once in a while NEFLIN sends an e-mail containing information that might be useful for those of us participating in 23 things. There is also a quote of the week from a 23 things participant about library 2.0, blogging, or general observations. I would like to list my own quotes of week in no particular order.

"Electrons don't add quality to conversation or information. Change for change's sake does not constitute a plan. "

--Backwall

"Just how futile is it to add another (irked, overworked, smirking) voice to the plethora of blogs Out There? Is anybody really communicating, or are we just performing for one another on that vast stage the Internet constructs? Is there any difference between the stage and the audience? What, precisely, is the ratio of signal to noise? Who benefits here? Who loses?"

--Another Tree Falls in the Forest

"2.0 has possibilities and its moments, but in the end the purpose of libraries has always been the provision of dependable information in a timely manner. 2.0 is a collection of techniques devoid of content. The expansion of access to information is going to include access to a lot of stuff that is, to be kind about it, twaddle. Unless 2.0 addresses the question of information evaluation, it is not going to be nearly as wonderful as it has been presented."

--Technoskeptic

And finally, since this is a blog and self promotion is inherent, from yours truly.

"When are libraries going to have a presence on eHarmony? Is that library 3.0? Or maybe <3.0?"

--TD

Thing 4

RSS feeds seem like a great way to keep apprised of new content on news sites or blogs. However, they are also a perfect delivery device for government spying. This is how they got J. Robert Oppenheimer. And don’t get me started on Roswell. The cashier at the Little A’Le’Inn told me that RSS feeds carry a radiological homing device that the Army can track using GPS satellites. If you subscribe to RSS feeds then you are being watched. To conceal your location you must soak in a bathtub of ice cold water, Goody’s headache powder, and two scoops of raisins.

I think I’ll just stick with bookmarking my favorite web sites and browsing them at my leisure, thank you.

Thing 3

Google blog search – It was quick and retrieved the most relevant results…not a high bar in this group.

Technorati- Is an anagram for tech ration. Its results, shall we say, were poorly rationed.

Blogdex- Currently displays the message: “Blogdex is currently being rethought…” Something I think all blog search engines should consider.

Thing 2

1974 Ford Mustang
Microsoft Vista
Caddyshack 2

What do these items have in common? Other than things I own, they are also examples of when the successor is inferior to the predecessor. Version 2.0 if you will…

p.s. When are libraries going to have a presence on eHarmony? Is that library 3.0? Or maybe <3.0?

Thing 1

I saw a t-shirt the other day that read: “More people have read my t-shirt than have read your blog.”