Thing 20

What am I observing about books and reading in my library? Well, books and reading are still popular, but free air conditioning and bathrooms have dethroned (pun intended) it from the top five reasons people visit our library. The death of books, like Elvis, has been greatly exaggerated. With the advent of ebook readers, some are claiming it's the end of printed materials. It reminds me of when people said that the series of tubes known as the internets (sic) was the end of libraries. I'm for any device or website—2.0 or otherwise—that encourages reading and literacy.

Thing 19

I am not now, nor have I ever been, a member of any online community...unless you count email. Being part of the global community is more than enough for me, thank you. Unlike the late comedian Bill Hicks, however, I don't believe people are viruses with shoes. They are more like the plague in pumps or staphylococcus in stilettos: Sure, they will still kill you, but they will look good doing it. With that said, I can see the value of some social networking sites like flixster and last.fm that allow people to share common interests like Gary Busey films and Michael Bolton albums.

Thing 18

Libraries are using MySpace in an attempt to reach kids and teens...and maybe aliens. There’s one small problem, however: kids and teens aren't using MySpace to connect with libraries. And as far as I can tell, the only people listed as “friends” on a library’s MySpace page are authors and musicians attempting to sell their work. The only thing worse than having no friends on MySpace is having friends that only want to use your page as marketing tool. I didn't find anything on a library’s MySpace page that couldn't be posted on their website. Functionality is less important than the appearance of it.

Thing 17

I listened to The Onion Radio News Podcast on Podcast.com about a voice-activated GPS taking a Top Gun soundtrack fan into "The Danger Zone." I've found The Onion to be the only reliable news source other than tarot cards and astrology. I once asked my voice-activated GPS for directions to Alpha Centauri and it took me to an Orange Julius.

http://comedy.podcast.com/episode/36424950/19051/

Thing 16

It’s strangely comforting—and not surprising—that a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away, technology failed another user. R2-D2.0?

Thing 15

I created an account and a search roll of my favorite websites in Rollyo. The first website I saved in my search roll is Little'A'le'inn…which is also my home page. It’s a great website that brings together like-minded individuals to discuss ufo sightings, alien abduction, or to purchase an alien babushka doll that would look perfect next to your limited edition alien chess set and your Faberge egg collection.

The next site I have saved in Rollyo is a website to stop alien abductions aptly named stopalienabductions.com. After an unsuccessful attempt to construct my own thought screen helmet using used chewing gum wrappers and rubber cement, I turned to this website for help.

Lastly, I have the NORAD (North American Aerospace Defense Command) website in my Rollyo account. You might think it’s weird for me to have a government institution whose purpose is to track Santa Claus and deny the existence of unidentified flying objects in my search roll. But, as my father is fond of saying, “Keep your friends close, your enemies closer, and your family at a distance.”

http://rollyo.com/tylerdurden23/alien_abduction/

Thing 14

i set up my iGoogle page under the iMpression that iT was an Apple/Google collaboration. You can iMagine how iNconsolable i was when i learned iT was just a google product. i don’t eat, drink, wear, drive, buy, or use anything that doesn’t start with an i.

“iThink, therefore iAm.”

--iTD

p.s. Like the Mayans, I believe the world will end in 2012. Unfortunately, the countdown clock widget doesn’t allow me to select a date beyond December 31, 2010. Does the countdown clock know something I don’t? Are catastrophic solar flares and magnetic pole reversal closer than we thought?

Created by OnePlusYou

Thing 13

The book widget on my blog is courtesy of LibraryThing. And unlike “2.0 libraries,” these books don’t have RFID tags that allow the government to track you. It’s bad enough that you track my reading materials, but do you have to track my location too? To hide your location you must soak the book in ice cold water, Goody’s headache powder, and two scoops of raisins. Just kidding. You should wrap the book in Christmas wrapping paper, place four energy crystals on each corner of the book, and use an EMP device to disable the tag. Warning: You must conduct this task in a lead-lined room. Otherwise, the EMP pulse will destroy all of your electronics and possibly cause amnesia, restless leg syndrome, and the compulsion to arrange your Star Wars action figures in order of value starting with the R2D2 chewed by your dog and ending with the Boba Fett still in the box.

p.s. Below is the most valuable Star Wars action figure ever!!!

Thing 12

Wiki is an anagram for Kiwi. The Kiwi bird is the national symbol of New Zealand. New Zealand’s Prime Minister is John Key. John Key was born August 9th. 9 is the result of 3². 3² is also known as 3/3/09 (square root day). The next square root day will be 4/4/16. 4+4+16=24. 24 is the number of hours it took me to compose this post. A not-so-quick example of what Wikipedia can do for you. I posted the following quote on NEFLIN’S wiki page:

"The 23 things you own end up owning you."
--Tyler Durden of 23 things

Thing 11

I support finding news through sources other than the mainstream media. The MSMs attempt to entertain instead of educate is well documented. Stories about subversive government activities are often under reported or avoided. For example, did you know the government has a secret hangar at Area 51 that they use to upvote stories on Reddit and Digg? In 2008 Donald Martin, an employee at Area 51, blew the whistle on the operation and was quickly fired. Two weeks later he was found dead—of carbon monoxide affixiation—in his idling car in the garage. There's one small problem with this story, however: he owned a Prius. These are the news events the public needs to know about. Instead, the government upvotes stories about celebrities, celebrities with children, and celebrities acting like children to keep us diverted from the real story: that aliens use Reddit and Digg to downvote news about alien abduction, infiltration, and assimilation.

Thing 10

As you know from my previous post, RSS feeds allow the government to spy on you. With the social bookmarking site Delicious, however, the government doesn’t need RSS feeds or warrantless wiretapping to find out what you are reading; all they have to do is look at your tagged bookmarks. Now you might think this invasion of privacy would prevent me from creating a Delicious account, but like the Warren Commission, you’d be wrong. My training in counter-espionage has taught me to recognize and exploit moments like this. As far as the government knows, the only things I have bookmarked are Michael Bolton’s Wikipedia page and QVC.