Thing 11

I support finding news through sources other than the mainstream media. The MSMs attempt to entertain instead of educate is well documented. Stories about subversive government activities are often under reported or avoided. For example, did you know the government has a secret hangar at Area 51 that they use to upvote stories on Reddit and Digg? In 2008 Donald Martin, an employee at Area 51, blew the whistle on the operation and was quickly fired. Two weeks later he was found dead—of carbon monoxide affixiation—in his idling car in the garage. There's one small problem with this story, however: he owned a Prius. These are the news events the public needs to know about. Instead, the government upvotes stories about celebrities, celebrities with children, and celebrities acting like children to keep us diverted from the real story: that aliens use Reddit and Digg to downvote news about alien abduction, infiltration, and assimilation.